Going Home

Yesterday was a difficult day for me.  My husband and I have been preparing to go home to North Carolina.  It would be easy to stay here in KY with our parents but we have never done easy, so its time to go home.  Walking through the front door will be the hardest part, but I know if I can make it through the door into our home that Noah spend most of his life, I can begin to move forward and begin to heal.  This is all about moving FORWARD!

There are a few more things to do when we get home.  I asked my husband to go with me to talk to someone.  Bradley and I are grieving completely differently and I don't think either of us understand each other, and for us this is a first.  So we need help to process our thoughts and feelings so we can begin to grieve together.  Also I have looked into a couple support groups that are local and I think this will help us talking to others who have been where we are and survived.  Bradley is nervous to talk to a group of strangers, but I am looking forward to it.  Besides, we don't have to say anything until we are comfortable.  We can spend a couple visits just listening. 

Once we are home and settled I will be able to write more.  The last few days have been taxing on both of us.  I'd like to also start video blogging as well, hopefully I can figure out how to do that and add it to this blog.  Until next time, thanks for bearing with my rambling.  Much love to all<3

     My name is Cassie, my husband Bradley and I had the most beautiful baby boy on February 6, 2012.  He was the pride and joy of our lives.  Noah, our son, gave us a renewed purpose in life.  He was a happy baby, never cried, never fussed.  He started sitting up quickly, walking at 9 months.  Always learning and discovering new things.  We've never known a love like that of our amazing and beautiful child.  He was loved unconditionally. 

     On March 4, 2013 Noah went down for his daily nap, and for unknown reasons, never woke up.  Our lives are shattered as we wait to find out what happened.  How could a healthy, lively energetic little boy be gone?  We've been told it could take months before we have answers to our questions if there are any at all.  We are lost.
    We dont know how to move forward.  We've been told by many that we will never get over the loss of our son, but we will get through it.  How do you get through something like this.  Noah should be here.  I've also been told that he is in a better place now.  I dont believe that, he was happy here and he belongs in my arms that is his better place.
    I wanted to start this blog because writing has always been an outlet for me to express my feelings in ways that I wouldn't other wise be able to. We want to take this tragic loss and turn it into an opportunity to branch out and help others and create a sort of support system, becasue as anyone who as lost someone close to them knows, they can't bare this burden alone. We want this to be a place were people can come and discuss their bad days, good days, and every day in between.

So come back, read anytime you want to. We will post as often as we emotionally feel the need to. Please, comment and share your stories and together we can get through this.